I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
