i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
