we're chasing vodka with high fives
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
