He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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