shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
