I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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