Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
