I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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