so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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