We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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