Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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