did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
