I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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