I just saw a hot homeless man
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
