I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
