Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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