Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
