i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
