He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
