On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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