I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
