I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
