i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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