You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
