I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
