i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
