I just made out with a guy for $7.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
