he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
