the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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