I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
