Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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