he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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