I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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