Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My vagina is very pro this idea
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
