the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
