Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
