My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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