So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
