a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
