google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I seem to have left my pride at pride
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
tell me about the eggs
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
