Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
