Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
