after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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