the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
