i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
