Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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