Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
