I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
