I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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