you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
