sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just googled if crying burns calories
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
