Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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