and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
