wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
