Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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