yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
