Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
