no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
