my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It was a blind-side dick pic.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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