She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
