Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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