Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
