Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
