honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
