it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
