I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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