She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
