you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
