And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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